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Pregnant teens and their significant other– how would you handle it? (3 posts)

7 months, 3 weeks ago
By chjmk

okay, moms… I was watching teen mom the other day, and really started thinking WHAT WOULD I DO IF IT WERE MY DAUGHTER? Without debating philosophy, I would like to pose a situation for feedback. It is your son/daughter who is a parent to be and wants to keep the kid. How would you handle the significant other, in the case of them wanting to stay together? Do you let one move in with the other, and treat them as married? Do you try to impose separation and preservation of their youth, in cooperation with the other grandparents? Do you encourage them to marry, move on or let them still just date? How do you handle the fact that sex will probably be a regular part of their relationship? Is it a moot point to insist on no sleep overs, ect…?

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    packagedealx3 said 6 months, 2 weeks ago:

    That’s a hard one and honestly I don’t have a clue what I’d do. I do have a friend who was around 20 when she unexpectedly became pregnant. They had no clue what they were doing until right around the delivery date. He did move in with her and her mom, they wound up getting married, having 2 more kids and are happily wed 15 years later.

    I think if nothing else you encourage them to behave appropriately in terms of focusing their attention on what’s best for the child. As far as some of your other questions, it becomes tough with younger children, supporting the situation while still encouraging the other kids to maintain whatever moral standards you do have.

    This is such a situational answer because much depends on the kids, their maturity level, were they in a healthy loving relationship, are the other parents of the pregnant kids cooperative? In the example above, the young man’s mother went ballistic and vowed to have nothing to do with any of it but closer to the birth and after, they supported the new parents and have been great grandparents. Situation would have been much different had they continued to maintain their initial stance.

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    mom5457 said 6 months, 2 weeks ago:

    When my 18 year old daughter got pregnant, her boyfriend was 19. They considered every opition, including abortion. They even found a family to adopt their child. But after the birth, my daughter couldn’t go through with it.
    At the time things seemed like they would work out. Both of them were employed and they lived together in a small apartment and they seemed to be in love. I should also state that my husband, younger daughter and I moved to another state before the baby was born. My daughter chose to stay since she was going to college and had a decent job, thinking that she would move back to be with us in the future. But now almost two years later, they have split up and the father and child live with his parents about an hour away from her. My daughter went from being in college and working on a career to being jobless, penniless and homeless. She rarely gets to see her son let alone parent him. She is trapped hundreds of miles away from her family and support network because the father doesn’t want to up root himself from his family and move closer to us.
    So, I would agree with packagedealx3 that so much depends on the situation. You just never know how things will turn out. At this point in my situation, I would do whatever it takes to get them to be a cohesive family again.

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