Momster

There’s so much pressure on kids to succeed now (kids are overloading on AP classes and extracurriculars, and they’re applying to 10, even 20 colleges!) that I don’t even think I’ll ever have to use threats to get them to care about grades. That being said, there’s a difference between bad grades as a result of kids needing help vs. true apathy towards the consequences (i.e. difficulty with college admissions). Once you’ve recognized the problem is the latter, wouldn’t the school guidance counselor be a great help? They’ll have real-life examples of success and failure from high school grads, some of whom your child might even know and admire. Anecdotal evidence is a better motivator than any abstract vision of the future; kids think they’ll be young forever.

I think if you discipline the problem, you are going to be chasing your tail and setting up a power struggle. There’s something underneath that problem. Think of it as a symptom that you can make a plan to manage, but not really solve the problem. For that, you have to take the time to listen, investigate, strengthen your communication and bond with your teen, and give patience while the problem turns around. Honesty and compromise have to be established between the teen and you– because school is their job and you are the boss. School is a chance to develop a work ethic. Sometimes, you just have to let the hammer fall if you have done everything. They will learn consequences by dealing with them– not by being lectured about them and/or shielded from them. Sometimes, letting go can force our kid to grow up. Yes– we’re all worried about college, which is why if you have to let go and let them fail a course in public school, it is a much cheaper fail than losing a scholarship, paying to take the course again, and not learning that college is for getting a degree, not partying and dating!

Pray! If you have talked about it with your child and his school maybe a therapist is in order.

Teens are very hard to read because they tend to be keeping things on their own, but you just have to talk to them and assure them that whatever happens you will always be there to love and support him.

If you already have done everything you can and if going to a therapist still doesn’t work, I think you should seriously consider sending him to a private youth academy. Where trained staffs will be able to monitor his behavior, activities and grades as a result they will help him deal with whatever problem he is experiencing. Since you are concerned with his grades and attitude then its the best thing you can do.